4 Dopamine-Boosting Ways To Spice Up Your Sex Life
By Alex Yale
When asked what you want to improve, 20% of respondents to our survey indicated that trying new things and wanting to spice up your sex life is a top priority. That’s because humans are attracted to novelty thanks to the reward-seeking intentions of our animal brains. When we experience something completely new, dopamine is released as an evolutionary tactic designed to keep our ancestors searching for better food, shelter, or protection. Nowadays, it’s what keeps us excited about that new iPhone purchase or changing our hairstyle. Our brain is wired to reward us for getting new things.
This same reward-system translates to our desire change up our sex lives. According to science, there are a few simple things you can do to spice up your sex life. Research into the link between dopamine levels and reward-seeking behavior reveal dopamine isn’t released when you get the reward, it’s released in anticipation of the reward. The key is to combine novelty, uncertainty, and anticipation for maximum benefits. In a study of monkeys, dopamine levels were more than doubled by introducing unpredictability in combination with anticipation of a reward.
Looking for ways to tap into this reward center in the bedroom? Keep reading for 4 dopamine-boosting ways to spice up your sex life, with yourself or with a partner.
1.) SWITCH IT UP
With a Partner:
Take the thinking out of trying new positions with some inspiration from the Sex Deck or an exhaustive online list. Use your position-generator-of-choice for a 3, 5, or 10 day challenge: select a position at random and commit to trying it out with your partner. Up the anticipation by selecting in the morning, giving you both something to think about as you go about your day. Add in some unpredictability by switching off which partner selects for the day, keeping it a secret from the other until that night. This is an easy way to get sex on the schedule without making it feel like work. If you’re using the Sex Deck, consider hiding the card somewhere for a little NSFW surprise for your partner to find.
With Yourself:
Spend some time with yourself and explore 3 new things you’ve never tried before. This could be a new video or sexy story to turn you on. Test the bounds of what you’re usually attracted to. Never watched porn? Pull up a video and see how you like it. Avid watcher? Find a kink or category you’ve never explored before. Do this once a day for 5 days in a row and see what you find out about yourself.
2.) PLAY A GAME
With A Partner:
Here’s a game that rolls delayed gratification, anticipation, and unpredictability into one easy way to spice up your sex life. Set aside twelve minutes of only foreplay, split into 1 minute increments. Set a timer for 1 minute and remain blindfolded while your partner explores your body. When the timer goes off, sit separate from each other for another minute of no touching. Then it’s another 60 seconds on the clock, this time with your partner blindfolded and you doing the exploring. Continue this on-and-off game for twelve minutes, building the sexual tension with each set but avoiding any sort of penetration. You’ll be surprised how easily a minute turns into a lifetime.
With Yourself:
Similar to above, set a timer for 1 minute, close your eyes, and indulge in a self-massage everywhere except your favorite erogenous zones. When the timer goes off, repeat for another minute but this time sit still and avoid touching yourself anywhere. Resume your massage for the 60 seconds after that. Practice building up anticipation with just yourself for 6 minutes of on-and-off timers and see how your body reacts.
3.) TRY A NEW TOY
With A Partner:
Nothing says novelty like a shiny new toy. Introduce a new vibrator or lube into your repertoire to change things up. Products specifically designed for couples are a great way to keep things interesting. If this is the first time using a toy with your partner, here are some tips for how to get the conversation going.
With Yourself:
Treat yourself to a vibrator or lubricant to spice up your me-time. Change things up with a new personal massager, something specifically designed for clitoral suction, or penetrative pleasure if you’ve never tried it. There are plenty of options for self-exploration to help you love yourself.
4.) MEDITATE
With A Partner:
Meditate with your partner (clothing optional) and focus on deep breathing for 5 minutes without touching. The deep breathing and concentrated thought required for meditation are proven to raise dopamine levels. Oh, and have we mentioned how important anticipation is? Try meditating for 3 minutes with your eyes closed, then another 2 minutes keeping eye contact with each other at a distance. When the timer is up, keep the slow, intentional pace going as you transition from meditating to exploring each other. Take the time to savor all the sensations, instead of rushing to the most pleasurable positions.
With Yourself:
Dedicate 10 minutes of meditating with deep breathing in front of a mirror without your clothes on. Because gratitude is also a dopamine booster, do this for 5 minutes with your eyes closed, then another 5 minutes with your eyes open, concentrating your thoughts on thanking your body for all the great things it does for you.