Intimacy Exercise: Writing Erotica With Your Partner

By Gabi Levi

As millions of couples remain isolated within the confines of a home or apartment, many are finding it difficult to keep the intimate spark alive in their relationships. As the days and nights seem to blend together in what feels like a time-warp, monotonous sex routines are boring couples and even weakening relationships. Not to mention, tension, frustration, fear, and anxiety have all reportedly escalated as a result of these uncertain times. It’s more important than ever to maintain sensuality, variety, and a strong sense of communication in partnerships as we fight to combat negative energy. While there are many ways in which couples can intimately bond during quarantine, perhaps the most creative and effective way is writing erotica together or for each other.

"Writing... is a way to expand your mind and utilize your imagination to escape reality for a moment."

The benefits of writing erotica as an individual are plentiful. First, writing erotica is a way to expand your mind and utilize your imagination to escape reality for a moment. This mental vacation is especially valuable during quarantine. What’s more, is that writing erotica helps you get to know yourself better. As you are writing, you’ll find yourself wandering corners of your mind that have not been discovered yet, turning over stones and digging up fantasies you didn’t even know that you had. And, while you stumble upon all of this buried treasure, you will inevitably enhance your sex life by way of knowing and taking ownership of your own desires. 

Writing erotica as a couple only multiplies those advantages. While writing a story together lends itself to a deeper bonding experience, creating one linear story with another person isn’t always easy. So, an alternate way of practicing this erotic exercise is to write stories for one another. Here are ways in which writing erotica with or for your partner can be a liberating bonding experience between the two of you during quarantine. 

Enhance your communication skills

Writing any story together would require you to exercise your communication skills, but this is especially true when the story or stories are meant to excite you and your partner sexually. You’ll need to open up in new ways, ask thoughtful questions, and create a narrative based upon what you are discovering about each other. These skills will survive past the point of the exercise and help you relate to one another as you live out this quarantine. 

Create a world outside of isolation together 

Erotica is like a little vacation for the mind. Except rather than sipping piña coladas on a tropical island, you’re traveling each other’s minds. The beauty in this is that you two can literally go anywhere, which is such a liberating notion considering the current state of the world. This escape is important for releasing stress and anxiety. 

"These skills will survive past the point of the exercise and help you relate to one another as you live out this quarantine."

Discover what turns your partner on 

You might think that you know everything about what makes your partner feel hot and bothered, but in reality, you probably don’t know everything. And, neither do they! As you embark on this journey together, you’ll surprise each other and yourselves with the path that your erotica takes. This will enhance your connection and help you please each other in the future. 

Developing a mutual sexual vocabulary 

Erotic language goes far beyond the ‘oh yeahs’ and the ‘right theres.’ When you are forced to add some thought and dimension to the words you use to describe sex, you subconsciously develop a mutual sex language between you and your partner. 

Turning your partner on with the work of your mind

Writing erotica with your partner is a chance to arouse each other with your minds rather than your bodies. This then brings the emotional and mental connection into the bedroom with you, thereby turning your sexual experience into a spiritual one.  

Elevating your sex life into an art form

This creative exercise is a surefire way to break up the monotony in a couple’s sex life. It’s unique, memorable, and requires effort in the same capacity that art does. Placing your sex life into this new realm will give you a new appreciation for the bond that you and your partner share. 


Gabi Levi